Alan Carr recalls deaf dog attacking bagpiper's sporran
Alan Carr recalled on his podcast Life's a Beach how his deaf dog Rita attacked a bagpiper's sporran during an event at Ayton Castle, his Scottish Borders estate. The comedian admitted he sided with his pet instead of apologising, then joked about Highland dress—and learned the piper kept a vape in the pouch.
Key Takeaways
- Alan Carr said Rita, his deaf dog, went for a bagpiper's sporran at Ayton Castle.
- He told David Sedaris on Life's a Beach that he mocked the kilt kit rather than scolding his pet.
- Asked what was in the sporran, the piper answered "My vape," not whisky or poetry.
- Carr is renovating the £3.25m Scottish Borders castle for Disney+ series Castle Man.
What happened when Alan Carr's dog met the bagpiper?
Speaking on the latest episode of Life's a Beach with US author and humourist David Sedaris, Alan Carr described inviting a bagpiper to play at Ayton Castle. The A-listed Scottish Borders residence—bought earlier this year for £3.25 million—became the setting for an awkward clash of pet and national dress.
Carr said: "I recently moved up to Scotland and we had a bagpiper, and Rita, my deaf dog, attacked his sporran." When Sedaris asked what a sporran was, Carr called it the "hairy bit" on a man's kilt. According to STV News, the piper told him to keep his dog under control.
Why did Alan Carr defend Rita instead of apologising?
Carr told Sedaris he felt like an "irresponsible dog owner," yet still leapt to Rita's defence. "Instead of telling the dog off, I was slagging off the Scottish national dress – 'It looks like a puppy you've got between your legs,'" he said.
"I should have said something, but you do get very protective about your dog. My dog can't do anything wrong, and all she spends her time doing is doing things wrong." Trying to lighten the mood, he asked what the piper kept in the sporran. Expecting a "romantic" reply—a wee dram of whisky or a Robert Burns poem—he got: "My vape."
What else has Alan Carr shared about Ayton Castle?
The Celebrity Traitors winner is documenting a renovation of the Scottish baronial estate in the upcoming Disney+ series Castle Man. Yahoo News UK reports the 17-bedroom Berwickshire property includes about 160 acres of gardens and parkland, where Carr has talked up community events such as dog shows, fetes and live comedy.
He has stressed the purchase is genuine, not a studio gimmick, as he sells up and moves to Scotland. For more buzz briefings in this lane, see our Fintech & Crypto Alerts hub.
The sporran scrap is classic Carr: self-deprecating, protective of Rita, and keen to turn castle life into shared entertainment rather than private grandeur alone.